Why is a loving relationship difficult to find and if found, to keep going in Encino, California? We all enter relationships with baggage that shade our perception and cloud our judgment. We repeat old patterns looking for new outcomes.
In a safe therapeutic setting you can begin your journey toward a more satisfying life filled with conscious choices rather than unconscious repetitive behavior.
Empowering the individual and strengthening a couple is what Alice Dollinger, Encino based licensed therapist, does best. Let her help you live a guilt free life learning to ask for what you want and speaking your truth and establishing an intimate loving relationship.
Taking the first step toward getting help is often the most difficult. If you live in Encino, please don’t hesitate to contact Alice at 818-990-3009.
We learn about it in books, movies and on television and hope to one day experience it in real life. Of course, we are talking about long lasting love. But why is this universal desire so difficult to obtain?
Often, there will be a mutual attraction between two people. Although the attraction can bring two people together, it is not enough to maintain the connection or let the connection deepen. Nonetheless, the new experience is exciting: the passion and sexual energy can motivate the spark of a relationship. Unfortunately passion wanes, and in order for the connection to survive, there needs to be something of substance. It is not uncommon for the fling to end as soon as the passionate fire burns out.
It is after a short-lived attraction runs its course, that many become disillusioned. Many people use their experiences of heartache to keep themselves from being vulnerable, which only further hinders their ability to find lasting love.
Too many people face the above situation as they are entrenched in the dating world. But you can experience the love that fairy tales showed you to dream about by taking a different approach. The intention that is your highest priority will influence your next experience. So, if your intention is to feel being loved, you can attract someone with the same intention. If you feel that you are used in all of your relationships, or you feel that you do not deserve true love, you will likely find a partner who reinforces those ideas.
Consider developing these primary attributes to help you form a powerful mindset to find love.
- Despite the situation you’ve been through, it is vital that you believe that you are deserving of true love. The moment that you think it is possible to experience lasting love is the moment you are open to receiving it.
- You will have a difficult time attracting someone with a balanced mindset until you reach a place in your life where you have come to respect, love and honor yourself. When you appreciate yourself and all of the qualities you have to offer, you will be able to avoid pursuing a relationship with anyone who doesn’t carry this mindset.
Be yourself from the get-go
- Once you’ve learned to love and respect yourself, it is easy to have the confidence to be yourself at the beginning of any relationship. Authentic people are confident people, and confident people are attractive.
Learn to be vulnerable
- As Wayne Gretzky once put it, “you miss one hundred percent of the shots you don’t take.” When it comes to relationships, use Gretzky’s inspiring quote as your motto. If you do not take a chance on a relationship and risk being vulnerable, you will never get to experience what could possibly be a loving relationship. It is important to demonstrate your willingness to be open and loving, without condition.
Have faith in life
- Have faith and be positive. Just because nothing seems to be going on, doesn’t mean that the future doesn’t have any plans in store for you. Life introduces numerous challenges and tests, but it is also full of possibilities. Staying positive won’t only help your love life, but all areas of your life.
Finding lasting love is a long journey, but it’s not impossible. How you reach the destination of lasting love is all up to you.
The attributes above are not only crucial for finding love but for maintaining it as well. Relationships take work, and even couples who are perfect for one another can attest to that.
For many people “relationship counseling” is a stigmatized term. Its connotations include shame and failure. But couples counseling is far from failure. Couples therapy demonstrates a commitment to working on an enhancing a relationship.
When couples therapy is thought of as a tool meant to strengthen a relationship, the following statistic is alarming: Only about a quarter of divorcing couples reported seeking professional help to improve their relationship.
The reason many couples seek therapy is a lack of communication. Fortunately, couples counseling is centered around improving communication. And if you refer to the attributes above, you might find that the willingness to be open—found in the vulnerability attribute—is applicable to communication-based issues.
In addition to improving a couple’s communication skills, relationship counseling might be needed when couples don’t know how to resolve their differences, one partner begins to act out on negative feelings, there is an emotional disconnect, one partner refuses to address conflict, and it one partner feels that counseling is needed. Regardless of the form of conflict, think of it as growth trying to happen; if you know how to work with it, it can lead to a better relationship.
Many people employ the title of that iconic Beatles song–”Love is All You Need”–as a mantra. And while that may be partly true, love requires work and commitment. Regardless of the severity of the conflicts, couples can change their relationship for the better. As long as there is a desire to enhance the relationship, both partners can demonstrate that they value the relationship.