Premarital counseling helps couples prepare for marriage by clarifying expectations and identifying weaknesses that can lead to bigger problems during marriage. You don’t have to agree on all of life’s issues and in fact difference can keep things interesting. But there are core beliefs that can cause many problems down the road if not discussed before the big day. Life can get more complicated with time and the issues get deeper and more important with each passing year. Some of the most basic questions that need to be addressed are:
1) Do you want to have children, if so, when?
2) Do we both work after we have children?
3) Who will is going to handle the finances and how do we decide on what we spend our money on?
So many important questions to talk over including religion, in-laws, the wedding itself and how do each of you handle your anger when things upset us.
The best indicator of a successful marriage is empathy, the ability to put yourself in the others place even when you may not agree. The ability to respect your partner’s feelings even if they differ from your own is the gift of empathy. Feelings may not be based on reason but rather on emotions, which are not always ruled by rational thinking and yet very real to the person feeling them.
Sharing the same values is also a major factor in a successful marriage. Although you may differ on specifics if you share the same moral, social and family value system those shared core beliefs may help you stand by each other and work through those difficult times.
Couples assume they are forever going to be together but statistics show otherwise, so good intentions are not enough to keep a marriage on track. Couples should ask themselves often, are we growing together as a couple or further apart? Are you willing to seek professional help at any point in your marriage when you are feeling troubled? Leaving things unsaid can build up until a loving relationship becomes so broken that you may not find the way back to each other.
Credentails & Contacts
Alice’s goal is to help her client’s learn to make conscious choices rather than repeating the same old behavior and expecting a different outcome.
Years in Practice: 20+ Years
School: Philips Graduate Institute
Year Graduate: 1989
License and State: MFC30340 California
Cost Per Session: $120 – $130
Accepted Insurance Plans: All PPO’s